just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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