Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
