If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
