All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
