I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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