He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
