so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
