well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
