why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
