She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
