Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
