That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I need moral support for this bender
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
