Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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