I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
