who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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