Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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