I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
