i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize