He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
are you so shy because you have an std?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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