never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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