I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
