Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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