i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
