is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
