Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
