my vag is so smooth its legendary
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
