ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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