I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just cut my nipple shaving
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
