I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need a beard to bite.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
