you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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