Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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