Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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