dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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