Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
