i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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