I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's blow job season.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
