I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
