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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
