i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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