he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I love having hate sex.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
