Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
