That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
