Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
