We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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