Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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