His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
