i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize