Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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