I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
