So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The uberlube is also flammable
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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