4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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