I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
