You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You pole danced in your parka.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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