Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
