she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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