oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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