i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
jump out the window naked night went bad
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
