Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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