Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
