I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
