ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize