I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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