Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
