i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
