I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Randomize
